Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
