We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
