im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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