Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
