there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He felt like a one man threesome
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
