Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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