Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
