I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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