Your face is a jimmy john
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
