Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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