My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
How naked do you want me to be?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
