how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
