The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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