I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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