Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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