I wannas sexs uuuuu
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
