i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
