my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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