he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision