Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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