Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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