If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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