Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
