his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
