i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
