Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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