there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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