I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
