Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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