Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Drake has all the answers
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
