:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize