We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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