Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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