If i come over, it means nothing
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
