my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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