you win again, gameday.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
