Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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