we have pet lesbian snakes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize