I'm gonna have a badass scar
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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