So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
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