Me. At least after what I've been through.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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