i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
