She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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