do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
