just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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