I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
