And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
