well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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