listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
