I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
What drink are we having for lunch?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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