You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
