why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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