Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.