you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
zippers are such a cool invention
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize