Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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