Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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