Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
