so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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