Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize