Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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