laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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