a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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