I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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