O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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